Privates on Parade (play)

This is about the play. For the film adaptation, see Privates on Parade (1982 film).

Privates on Parade is a British farcical play with music.

Cast[]

Denis Quilley - Captain Terri Dennis
Nigel Hawthorne - Major Giles Flack
Joe Melia - Corporal Len Bonny
Ian Gelder - Private Steven Flowers
Ben Cross - Flight Sergeant Kevin Cartwright
Simon Jones - Sergeant Eric Young-Love
Emma Williams - Sylvia Morgan
Tim Wylton - Lance-Corporal Charles Bishop

Plot[]

Private Steven Flowers is newly arrived at his new posting, to join the Song and Dance Unit South East Asia (S.A.D.U.S.E.A - 'sad-you-see'), a concert party entertaining the troops in post world war two Malaya. He first meets Sergeant Bonny who issues him with his 'kit' of greasepaints, actors acoutrements - and a set of sergeants stripes, Bonny explaining that the whole company are automatically made up to sergeants - acting, unpaid of course!. He then briefly meets Captain Terri Dennis, a professional entertainer and the troupes 'leading lady', and Sergeant-Major Reg Drummond, a brash homophobic bully who detests the fact that most of the company are homosexuals. Drummond is welcoming at first, but when he finds that Flowers has transferred from Army Intelligence he becomes suspicious that he is a spy sent to investigate his (Drummond's) own illegal activities.

The company are rehearsing a show called "Jungle Jamboree" and Flowers watches his new comrades rehearse. The opening number explains the initials S.A.D.U.S.E.A. Another number The Movie to End Them All celebrates the cinema and the movie queens of the era, then Captain Dennis performs a parody of Marlene Dietrich singing Danke Schon. In the break between numbers Flowers presents himself to Captain Terri to sign his arrival chitty and receive a little advice about his new comrades.

The next rehearsal number is the Western Approach Ballet, a symbolic number in which Sylvia, a Eurasian dancer and the only female member of the company, represents a merchant ship being escorted by a convoy (Captain Dennis) whilst being attacked by two submarines. The number is broken up by the arrival of He insists that Sylvia take off her raincoat to reveal the dress that Dennis requisitioned for the number, but all she is wearing beneath the raincoat is her underwear and she runs off-stage in tears.

Flowers, who has been drinking whilst watching the show, springs to Sylvia's defence but the confrontation is forestalled by the arrival of Major Giles Flack, the company commandant, who sermonises to them all on the power of christianity to overthrow the Malaysian insurrectionists. Rehearsals resume and Flowers begins to write a letter home to his girlfriend while Dennis, made up in drag as the forces sweetheart, seems to reply to him, singing The Little Things We Used To Do.

After the number, Dennis sends Flowers to return Sylvia's raincoat, and alone together the couple begin to fall in love. She invites him to escort her home but Drummond intervenes and orders him to other duties, marching off with Sylvia himself. But, over the following days, their romance blossoms and after spending the night together Sylvia worries what will happen to her when the British leave Malaysia and she is left alone. Flowers has the answer, he asks her if she would like to come to England and proposes marriage. Sylvia accepts and Flowers promises to see Major Flack to request a marriage warrant.

But that night, while Flowers is on guard duty, Drummond has incited a pair of Malayan camp followers to murder him, but they turn on Drummond instead and kill him. Drawn by the commotion, Flowers find the dying Sergeant Major, but it is too late. A funeral is arranged with a Major Flack giving a hymn and oration.

Flowers makes an appointment to see Major Flack who tells him he has received very good reports and offers him the job of Sergeant-Major to replace the murdered Drummond. Flowers accepts and the Major goes on to outline his plan to take the company into the dangerous Malayan interior as bait for the communist rebels. Flowers is so taken aback by this course of events he almost forgets the purpose of his visit, but does in fact ask the major for permission to marry Sylvia. The Major tacitly agrees but warns him to think it over carefully. Privately, however, he determines to prevent it. Completing rehearsals for the show, Captain Dennis imitates Noel Coward in a musical number where he asks The Brains Trust "Could You Please Inform Us who it was that won the War?"

The next day, Flowers, now company Sergeant-Major, leads the company into their battle-song Privates On Parade, and Major Flack prepares them for a tough assignment up-country by ordering extra military training. The tour begins with the company travelling by train then by truck into the rugged Malayan interior, many of their audiences are made up of empire forces who do not understand English but flack insists they will enjoy it as long as their is plenty of movement and colour. Consequently, one of the numbers is "The Latin American Way" sung by Captain Dennis as a gaudily attired Carmen Miranda. Dennis confronts Flowers over his treatment of the now pregnant Sylvia, who is upset that Flowers has been ignoring her, spending all his time with the Major. He blames his duties, but on reflection, decides to properly break up with her and offers her money for an abortion.

Elsewhere, some of the company members talk about returning home and Sergeant Bishop reveals he intends to stay on since Bonny is a career soldier and they have sworn to stay together. But, in the middle of a show at a Ghurka camp the lights go out and communists infiltrators open fire. Bonny is amongst those killed and others of the company are injured. Flack is unperturbed since the score was six communists killed against only four British or allies. Still, it is the end of the tour and the company head to Singapore from where they will be shipped home for demobilisation. The company gather on the docks at Singapore, including Sylvia whom Dennis has married so that she can come to England and meet her family (her dead father having been a Welsh Fusilier). The action closes as the company board ship to return home.

Musical numbers[]

"SADUSEA" - SADUSEA
"The Movie To End Them All - Terri, Cartwright and Steven
"The Little Things, We Used To Do" - Terri
"Black Velvet" - Young-Love, Bonny, Bishop and Cartwright
"Better Far Than Sitting This Life Out" - Steven and Sylvia
"The Prince Of Peace" - Flack
"Could You Please Inform Us" - Terri
"Privates On Parade" - SADUSEA
"The Latin American Way" - Terri
"Sunnyside Lane" - Bonny and Bishop
"Sunnyside Lane" (Reprise) - SADUSEA