Avenue Q

Avenue Q.

Avenue Q is a stage musical.

Cast

• John Tartaglia - Princeton/Rod
• Stephanie D'Abruzzo - Kate Monster/Lucy the Slut
• Rick Lyon - Nicky/Trekkie/Bad Idea Bear
• Natalie Venetia Belcon - Gary Coleman
• Ann Harada - Christmas Eve
• Jordan Gelber - Brian
• Jennifer Barnhart - Mrs. T/Bad Idea Bear

Plot

Princeton, a recent college graduate, is anxious to discover his purpose in life; but first, he must find an apartment and a job, with no work experience and an English degree. Beginning his search on Avenue A, he finally finds an affordable apartment on Avenue Q. His new neighbors are Kate Monster, a kindergarten assistant teacher; Rod, an anal-retentive Republican banker; Nicky, Rod's slacker roommate; Brian, an aspiring comedian recently laid off from his day job; Christmas Eve, Brian's Japanese fiancée and a therapist with no clients; Trekkie Monster, a surly recluse who surfs the Internet all day in search of porn; and Gary Coleman, the building superintendent. Debates ensue over whose life sucks the most ("It Sucks to Be Me"), though they do conclude that Coleman's life sucks the most.

Nicky, who is straight, suspects that Rod is gay, and assures Rod it is okay with him if he is; but Rod insists he is not. Princeton finds a lucky penny and longs to discover his purpose in life. Kate dreams of starting a "Monstersori" school for young "people of fur". Princeton innocently asks Kate if she and Trekkie are related, since they are both monsters, but Kate angrily pronounces his assumption racist. Princeton, taken aback, counters that Kate's Monstersori School would discriminate against non-monsters. They and the neighbors agree that racism is an adult reality.

Princeton receives money from his parents. The Bad Idea Bears, two charming troublemakers, convince him to spend it on beer. Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Thistletwat assigns Kate to teach the next morning's kindergarten class, her first solo teaching opportunity. She decides that her lesson will be about the Internet and all its educational attributes, but Trekkie Monster and the neighbors explain another reality of adulthood: Lots of adults, even "normal people", use it to find pornography.

Princeton gives Kate a mixtape. His song selections are puzzling, making her wonder what message he is trying to send, but eventually, she decides that he must like her. Sure enough, he invites her on a date to the Around the Clock Café. Brian, the café's MC, does his raunchy stand-up act. He then introduces Lucy the Slut, a skanky chanteuse who wows the guys, especially Princeton, with a seductive cabaret number. The Bad Idea Bears suggest that Kate and Princeton order some "harmless" Long Island Iced Teas, and once Kate is totally inebriated, Princeton takes her home to bed.

Kate and Princeton have enthusiastic, high-decibel sex. Gary fields angry calls from other tenants but refuses to intercede. Meanwhile, Rod hears Nicky say, "I love you, Rod," in his sleep, and is jubilant – but eventually realises it was he who was dreaming. Kate and Princeton profess their mutual love, and Princeton gives Kate his lucky penny.

The next morning, a hung-over Kate oversleeps and misses her teaching assignment. Mrs. Thistletwat berates her, and Kate angrily quits her job before she can be fired. Christmas Eve decides unilaterally that it is time she and Brian were married. At the wedding, Nicky blurts out his suspicion that Rod is gay. Rod, furious, insists he has a girlfriend named Alberta in Vancouver and tells Nicky he is no longer welcome in their apartment.

When Kate catches Christmas Eve's wedding bouquet, Princeton panics, confesses a fear of commitment, and asks Kate if they can just be friends. Kate retorts that she already has plenty of friends, and breaks off their relationship.

A despondent Princeton has been holed up in his apartment after breaking up with Kate but is coaxed out by the neighbors. Lucy is looking for a place to crash and seduces the rebounding Princeton. Kate is angry, but Christmas Eve explains that she would not be angry if she were not in love with him. Kate writes a note to Princeton suggesting that they rendezvous at the Empire State Building and leaves it with Lucy who promptly destroys it. A homeless Nicky laments his fate to Gary who confesses that he is deriving pleasure from Nicky's misfortune.

On the Empire State Building's viewing platform, Kate, thinking that Princeton has stood her up, throws his lucky penny away. A hundred stories below, Lucy, walking by on Fifth Avenue, is knocked unconscious by the penny. Kate and Princeton unsuccessfully try to work out their problems over Lucy's comatose body. Rod is too proud to accept Nicky's repeated apologies, despite clearly missing him, and tearfully consults Christmas Eve. Princeton, Kate, and Nicky dream of returning to happier times.

Princeton gives a still-homeless panhandling Nicky a quarter, and marvels at how fantastic he feels. Since thinking only about himself has gotten him nowhere, he decides to raise money to build Kate's Monstersori School. He solicits everyone, even breaking the fourth wall to shake down the audience, but results are disappointing ("The Money Song"). Then Trekkie Monster, recalling his own traumatic school experiences, donates ten million dollars – and explains to the astonished cast, "In volatile market, only stable investment is porn!".

Kate joyfully opens her new school. Brian lands a consulting job, and Christmas Eve finally has a paying client (Rod), so the newlyweds move to a better neighborhood. Rod finally comes out, to no one's particular surprise, and takes Nicky back in. Nicky finds Rod a boyfriend – Ricky, a muscle-bound hunk who otherwise looks and sounds exactly like Nicky. The Bad Idea Bears discover Scientology. Lucy, recovered from her head injury, becomes a born-again Christian and takes a vow of chastity. Kate and Princeton agree to give their relationship another go.

A new college graduate inquires about the vacancy in the building, and Princeton has an epiphany: maybe his purpose is to put everything he has learned into a Broadway musical. Everybody, especially the new guy, immediately ridicules him. The cast reminds Princeton that, in the real world, many people never find their purpose, but life goes on, and everything, both good and bad, is "only for now."

Musical numbers

Act I

• "The Avenue Q Theme" – Company
• "What Do You Do with a B.A. in English?" – Princeton
• "It Sucks to Be Me" – Brian, Kate, Rod, Nicky, Christmas Eve, Gary Coleman, Princeton
• "If You Were Gay" – Nicky, Rod
• "Purpose" – Princeton, Ensemble
• "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" – Princeton, Kate, Gary, Brian, Christmas Eve
• "The Internet Is for Porn" – Kate, Trekkie Monster, Brian, Gary, Rod, Princeton
• "Mix Tape" – Kate, Princeton
• "I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today" – Brian
• "Special" – Lucy
• "You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want (When You're Makin' Love)" – Gary, Bad Idea Bears, Princeton, Kate, Brian, and Christmas Eve
• "Fantasies Come True" – Rod, Kate, Princeton, Nicky
• "My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada" – Rod
• "There's a Fine, Fine Line" – Kate

Act II

• "There Is Life Outside Your Apartment" – Brian, Princeton, Christmas Eve, Gary, Nicky, Trekkie Monster, and Lucy

"The More You Ruv Someone" – Christmas Eve and Kate

• "Schadenfreude" – Gary and Nicky
• "I Wish I Could Go Back to College" – Kate, Nicky and Princeton
• "The Money Song" – Nicky, Princeton, Gary, Brian and Christmas Eve
• "School for Monsters" – Trekkie Monster

"The Money Song" (Reprise) – Nicky, Princeton, Gary, Brian and Christmas Eve

• "There's a Fine, Fine Line" (Reprise) – Princeton and Kate
• "What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?" (Reprise) – Newcomer
• "For Now" – Kate, Brian, Gary, Princeton, Nicky